To Know When to Let Go of Desire
by Amledo
Summary: Pan makes a bad decision, Trunks. In bad shape she ends up in the arms of 17, too bad it's Heat season. M for a reason. PanX17.
1. To Know When to Let go of Desire

(A/N: Amledo here. I don't own DBZ or DBGT or anything for that matter. I own my laptop and my severely messed up imagination. I'm here with a Pan X 17 fiction for a reason, it's under done. Please discount most things that happened in the series, I don't care about them. On with the story, for those of you that read please review.)

To Know When to Let Go of Desire

His icy blue eyes lit up in shock as he heard a shriek come from the direction of his energy blast. There had been no one there, he was sure of it, otherwise he would have gotten himself out of the area, and no one was even supposed to know that he was still around. Despite himself, he went to investigate, thinking that it might have been a human that he had killed. But for all his effort he regretted it, the girl whose shriek he had heard earlier was that of Pan Son, Goku's granddaughter. Sure she was a bit of a powerhouse for an eighteen year old but she was still ¾ human, and that was a bad thing. He could have seriously hurt her.

When several minutes passed and she did not open her eyes he settled on the only course of action, he had to take her back to his house so that she could recover. He couldn't take her back to them, his sister would know he had returned and his life of quiet solitude would be no more. There was no way he was going to risk what he had out in the forest, in his little house. For once he had found something that he wasn't willing to lose and there was no way a little girl was going to ruin his chances at that happiness.

Pan was still unconscious when he transported her to his house, she didn't wake up when he settled her on the couch and not when he put the blanket over her. For a moment he began to fear that she wasn't going to wake up, but then she began to snore softly, her still youthful face seemed to smile at him as he rested her head in his lap. He absently stroked her long black hair, his mind straying to the wonder of why she had been out in the forest and where exactly her bandana had gotten lost. It was rare to see the pretty girl without it, and surprisingly she was very pretty. For a very long time it seemed, he sat there stroking her hair, speaking softly to her about how he thought she was pretty, about how he loved his home. Random thoughts claimed his mind and he continued to pet her head, occasionally stroking her face.

As dusk began to fall her eyes fluttered, she didn't immediately wake up, she blinked a few times and seemed to go back to sleep. Then her eyes shot open and she stared at him with an open mouth before she began to clutch her head. It had to hurt, she'd been hit pretty much dead on by an energy blast, he only wished that he kept medicine or something in the house. Being an android he didn't even need to eat the food that he so religiously prepared and consumed. But he did it because he wanted to feel normal, he wanted to feel human.

"Number Seventeen?" she whispered dumbfounded as she stared at him, her coal black eyes reminding him darkly of the night and of all the things that brought him peace. He helped her to sit up, his voice caught in his throat as he struggled to explain himself to her. For some reason he felt that he needed to, that it was his duty to give her a reason for his presence. But he did not need to say anything. She threw her arms around him and began crying, kissing his cheeks and forehead as she did so.

"Uh, Pan? What happened are you alright? Please tell me, are you okay?" he whispered when she finally collapsed on his chest sobbing her eyes out, letting her tiny fists curl around the material of his shirt. She looked up at him, bleary eyed and red faced she tried to swallow her sobs.

"Seventeen, he tried to kill me. Trunks…I told him I loved him and he tried to kill me. I don't think I even loved him then. I was just being stupid and then he hit me. He chased me in the air and when I didn't have any energy left to fly…I fell. And he left me," she was panic stricken, her eyes tearing up, her voice still caught and all the android could do was pull her against his chest and kiss the top of her head. Nothing in his programming or in his normal mind could find the words to say to make her feel better. He knew that only time could heal the girl, but there was so much more he wished he could do.

"Pan, the love of a beautiful girl like you would have been wasted on a man as promiscuous as Trunks. He would have tossed you out carelessly, and that is perhaps why he chased you away. Someone like him could probably never bear to have someone actually love him and commit themselves to him. You were braver than he was," the android said in a moment of clarity, his icy eyes flashing with momentary warmth as she squeezed him tighter. Somehow the human half of him, the half that was attracted to her, he reasoned had come up with the response on the spot. Even if it was true about Trunks being a bit too free with his love, he felt she needed to know it.

"Thank you Seventeen, I didn't know that you thought I was pretty but I do kind of like knowing it. You're a very nice man you know?" she whispered softly, resting her head against his chest as she listened to the pounding of his heart. She wondered vaguely if she had been the cause of his increased heart rate. Of course she already knew that she had gotten herself hit by his energy blast, she had been too distracted to block it and what with her power levels so diminished disaster was waiting to happen.

The android holding her felt a surprisingly human blush on his cheeks as heat crept through the rest of his body. It was so unfamiliar to him and felt so nice that he actually began to laugh, hugging Pan tighter to his chest. Oh in that moment he felt as though he could have kissed her, and he wondered just what would happen to his body if he did? Again he had his question answered for him as her soft lips found his and she pulled him into a gentle, though unpracticed kiss. At least there was no hesitation from her, and she was glad not to sense any from him.

"Pan, what are you doing? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think it might be wrong," he whispered and she frowned at him, her impish face gaining back its smile in mere moments. So he wanted it too, that was all the encouragement she needed. She was in Heat that was all she knew, that was the only reason she told Trunks. Her body demanded carnal attention and she was going to seek it from the man that had pretty much saved her life. It didn't matter, Seventeen was a respectable man. She was sure that he would love her properly as he drew her up against him.

The second time around it was his move to kiss her, and when he did she responded with enthusiasm and yet amazing restraint. She wanted to do things his way, in his time it seemed and for that he was relieved. He'd never done something like this before, of course he knew what his erection was, and he had masturbated, but been intimate with a woman? Never, and a beautiful one like Pan seemed an excellent first.

"Please Seventeen. I felt you holding me, I felt you when I kissed you. When I was unconscious I heard you call me pretty. Make love to me Seventeen and maybe both of us will finally feel human," she whispered and he lifted her up, smashing his lips against hers, his mind fogging quickly as he carried her to his bedroom. He set her on the bed carefully and pulled his shirts off, letting her see the well muscled torso that he had been gifted with, and hoping that in exchange she would remove her shirt. He moaned softly when she lifted up the tiny tee and unhooked her bra, she was well endowed to say the least.

Gently he leaned forward and kissed her, one of his hands squeezing her breast softly, getting a feel for the size of her treasure. He laid her back on the bed and continued to kiss her, down her jaw and her neck, down her collarbone and all the way to her nipples. To her soft pink buds he paid the most attention, suckling them and licking them until they became hard and she was crying out beneath him. She was begging for more as he kissed his way down to the waistline of her pants. Without a second though he undid the buttons, slid down the zipper and tugged her pants from her body. All that was left were her little pink panties that had matched her bra.

"Pan," he began to whisper as he stood and undid his pants, pulling them down and taking his boxers with them. "Do you want me Pan?" he asked softly as he crawled naked onto the bed, slipping between her legs. For a moment all she did was stare at the almost nine inches of hardened flesh poised between her legs, waiting to give her pleasure.

"I want you Seventeen. I want you like nothing else," she replied and when he pulled her panties off she was wet with excitement at the thought of him inside of her. He leaned forward and kissed her, one hand massaging her breast while the other held him up. His swollen desire pressed against her entrance and she moaned in anticipation.

"Pan, I've never done this before…so please stop me if I hurt you," he whispered and leaned back once more, sliding his manhood up and down her wetness to make sure it was properly lubricated for her.

"I've never had sex before either Seventeen. So let's both learn," she whispered and spread her legs wider so that he could go inside of her. That was where she wanted him that was where she needed him. And when he pressed his length into her in its entirety she moaned deeply, there was no pain for her, and she was glad for it. He made love to her slowly, letting her direct as much as he did. But mostly they wanted to take their time, savor the intimacy; each stroke meant the world to them. Each cry was the tender song of their developing passion, that before long would reach a crescendo and they would collapse on each other.

When she felt that her body was about to give out, a few fevered thrusts from him brought her to her release, screaming and moaning all at once as her very first orgasm washed over her. Not long after she felt him explode inside of her, his seed being pumped deep into her, she hadn't known that an android could do that. But if Maron existed then she supposed so.

"Pan, I love you," Seventeen whispered, unable to contain himself as he planted kisses all over her face.

"Seventeen, I think I love you too. What else could this be? My hear feels so complete now that I have you," she whispered and returned those kisses. All at once her body relaxed, she felt the constant tension that came with being in Heat leave her. It struck her then what that meant and she hugged him happily, surprised by the actual joy that she felt.

"What is it little one?" he asked softly as she planted a big kiss on his lips.

"Seventeen, the Heat is gone. I can't believe I'm going to say this but you're going to be a father," she told him, her elation obvious as she kissed him again. And not for one moment did his face display anything other than joy. All at once he let go of his desire to live alone. He was going to live with his Pan and their child. So quickly his life had changed, so quickly he had fallen in love and become a father. All at once he felt human.

"Thank you Pan. Thank you so much," he buried his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her skin. "I'm human again," he told her softly and held her in his arms as they settled down for a nap.

(A/N: Well let me know if you think this should be more than just a oneshot.)


	2. Living Among Past and Future

(A/N: I don't own DBZ or DBGT I'm not that awesome. Umm I want to remind you that this is a Pan X 17 fic so you know. Don't read if you don't like. It's going to be a lot longer than I thought so here we go.)

To know when to let go of Desire Pt. 2: Living among Past and Future

Pan closed her eyes in fear and sorrow as her father, a normally peaceful man, caught Seventeen in the face with a rather painful right hook. Son Gohan was not happy with his daughter, and even less so with her lover and now mate. Pan had been foolish to go off in her Heat state, she had been irresponsible and Gohan's mindset was that the android should have been able to restrain himself from doing such a thing. But Seventeen was willing to take the beating, his body was almost indestructible, and even the enraged Gohan was only causing surface bleeding. The android was in love, when his heart had been so taken up by something he didn't know how to care anymore.

"Dad stop, please stop, please," Pan sobbed, her eyes bleeding tears as she wrapped her body around Seventeen's much larger one. She couldn't stand for her father to hurt the man that she had taken as a mate, she felt the primal urge to protect the father of her child and she would hurt her own father to prove that fact. The pretty impish face turned demonic as she snarled at the older man, he could crush her if he wanted but part of her was counting on the fact that he wasn't going to hurt his baby girl. She was his only daughter after all, he had catered to every little thing she had wanted before, and he had said nothing when she had initially set her heart on the much older Trunks.

"Why Pan, why shouldn't I kill him? Why shouldn't I rip his body apart? What he has done is unforgivable," Gohan roared, his eyes were livid and for a tense second they flashed to a frightening aqua, the Super Sayian form. The Professor was obviously out of his mind with anger, his child, his only child was mated to an android who was only Kami knew how old. He couldn't contemplate what he would be able to do to break the bond of the mated, to destroy the shared blood that bound them together. Pan then asserted herself; bring her small body to its full height, dark fire in her eyes as her aura rippled with a golden haze.

"Unforgivable? He saved my life. When Trunks tried to kill me Seventeen saved me! It is my fault for seeking out Trunks when I was in Heat. None of this ever would have happened if I hadn't done that. But I'm glad that it happened. My Mate, picked me up and carried me back to his house, he saved my energy depleted body from perishing in the wild. It is not his fault that I found him suitable to be mine. It is not his fault that I kissed him. He even tried to stop me Dad; he knew that what I was doing wasn't exactly guided by sound mind. But in the end Sayian pheromones are too much for any man, even one as powerful as Seventeen. You can't blame him," she leaned back against her mate's chest, her eyes slipping closed momentarily as his arms went around her waist.

"Careful my love. You've no idea what a Super Sayian form might do to you right now," Seventeen whispered and kissed her cheek. He loved her so dearly, for everything from her beauty and strength, to her wits and her ability to connect with him. Pan was his dream girl, he didn't care if pheromones had driven him to claim her, and the love remained even after those left. His heart had found its match.

"It's okay Seventeen. I'm in control. Look, Dad, I love this man. I wouldn't have taken him as a mate otherwise. If I didn't love him I would have done as any other Sayian would have without the training that I could have had. Once I was pregnant and the heat was gone I would have left him behind. But I couldn't, I gave my heart to him, and he gave his to me. And you will not deprive me of the father of my child," Pan said, her voice growing into a roar that made her father cringe away from her, even at the news that should have enraged him to the point of murdering the android.

"Wait, Pan, you're pregnant?" Gohan whispered, his eyes were huge and his thoughts began to center on the thought of being a grandfather rather than the several painful deaths he had envisioned for the man that had corrupted his daughter. Gohan had been prepared for the announcement of Trunks as Pan's mate, but android Seventeen and the father of her child no less, oh it was too much to absorb.

"Yes, I'm pregnant, as of three days ago. Mom would have been happy for me. She wanted me to have a baby because she knew that I was going to be as good of a mother as she was," Pan said in a severe tone as she turned to the man that she loved and used the sleeve of her jacket to gently clean away the blood that trickled from the corner of his mouth. She then planted soft kisses along the broken and abused skin of his jaw and his cheeks, ignoring her father while he collected his thoughts. Seventeen held his mate's tiny body against him gently as she tended to his wounds, and in a sneaky motion shifted her once she had turned around to face her father, so that she hid his growing need. There was something awful that that tiny woman did to his body, and he felt it magnified as she did once they had become mates.

"Mr. Son, I know that you will likely never approve of my place in Pan's life, but she is a woman in her own right. Heat or not, she knew what she wanted, and we knew what we were doing. I will never regret this, but for the sake of my mate, I would hope that you could be her father once more and show her the support that she needs," Seventeen said, his arms gentle as they stroked Pan's stomach, warming her outside and in.

"I know. It's just, Pan is so young. You must understand Seventeen; you were in my nightmares when I was a child. Your face has not changed, and it never will. Pan is going to age and she is going to die, just like me and just like her mother. A mated Sayian would die the moment their partner did and go into the next life together. I never mated because I knew my duty to Pan. How will you explain to your children that when one of you goes both of you are going to leave their lives," Gohan whispered, his eyes were heavy with tears, he was losing his daughter and there was nothing he could do to fight it.

All that the older Sayian could do was wait for the crushing blow, something that they were going to say that was going to put the final nail in the coffin that buried his hope. He wanted his daughter to be his daughter, not the mother of a grandchild, just sweet innocent little Pan. But all of that had slipped away from him. All of that had gone away from him.

"Pan is going to live to be a very old woman. And I have no greater desire than to join her in the afterlife. I understand your fear Gohan. But with how strong Pan is you will not have to worry about her for a long time. If it is your desire I will call the Dragon and I will beg him to bestow upon my mate the lifespan that I have been granted. I will bind her to myself and to life in any way that will appease you but I will not remove her from my life or her from mine," Seventeen said darkly, his eyes were shimmering with challenge at Gohan's still defiant appearance. But the father backed down, the fight lost.

"At least do that for me. I was incapable of living well without my father. I don't know what the lifespan of your children may be but it will be long enough that you will need extended life just to deal with it. I accept that Pan is more or less a married woman, and I can't destroy that. But I will ask that you live as long as you can together. And please don't stay out in the forest, come into town or at least move closer to Dad, he misses you Pan," Gohan said softly and Pan simply nodded as she left her mate's arms to embrace her father.

"Thank you Dad, for letting me be happy. It means everything to me that you can understand," she said and was softly embraced by Seventeen as they turned to leave. Gohan knew that they weren't going to abandon him; he knew that they were going to be happy together. He just didn't know why it had been so hard for him to accept. As he watched his daughter being lifted into the arms of the man she loved he finally smiled. Pan was going to be well taken care of, such a gentle man as Seventeen had become, and he was perfect for Pan. He had a proper wedding to plan, and he needed to talk to Vegeta.

(A/N: Yeah, I know mostly discussion. But it needed to be done. Well thanks for reading if you've stuck around this long. More to come soon.)


	3. Children of our Love

(A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys. I don't own DBZ and I don't think I ever will. Okay, chapter 3.)

To Know When to Let go of Desire Pt 3: The Children of our Love

The months had passed by quickly and 17 was practically buzzing around the house. They had a residence half way between Gohan and Goku's homes, and Pan received frequent visits from her family at the pregnancy reached later stages. At present she was experiencing contractions and 17 couldn't be in the room with her. The doctor had shooed him and Gohan and Goku out as it became apparent that the baby was on the way.

"17, breathe," Gohan pushed the android to the couch and sat beside him, trying to be calm for the expectant father. But 17's ice blue eyes were full of panic, fear, and apparent misery. Gohan understood, he hadn't been allowed in the room when Pan was born and it wreaked havoc on his heart and mind. Of course they had already made the wish ensuring that the child would be born healthy and without a tail, just for safety.

"Gohan, I'm sorry, I'm just so scared for her," 17 whispered and closed his eyes as he tried to focus on calming down. Gohan was rubbing his back and Goku was staring blankly while sitting next to Chi-Chi, he didn't really know how to deal with the idea of his granddaughter having the baby. It was strange enough to hear Gohan say the words, 'Pan mated 17 and she's pregnant' but having it come to a head, to have it be so real, it knocked him back a peg.

"Come on 17, she's a quarter Sayian, Vegeta tells me that a woman of Sayian blood can have a child with no help at all and survive. Pan's strong," Goku said, but it was mechanical. Gohan just sighed and slung his arm tightly around the android's shoulders, 17 barely shifted at the gesture, he simply couldn't process things, it was three weeks early.

"We made the wish. It's going to be okay," Gohan said delicately, and the icy eyes of his son-in-law swiveled to meet all-consuming black. A slow sigh passed the android's lips as he tried to put it in a polite way.

"It's too soon Gohan. We wished for the baby to be okay, and Pan was…it's too soon," 17 let his tension really show, his smooth face contorted in pain at the uncertainty. Finally it seemed that Gohan understood, counting on his fingers back to when the unlikely situation had presented itself to him. He stared at Chi-Chi for a moment and worked his mouth to form the words.

"It was nine months with Videl, mom?" Gohan asked delicately, no, he really didn't want to believe that anything had gone wrong. His eyes went wide as Chi-Chi shook her head, the sorrow was apparent on her face.

"Nine months for you and your brother. Bulma said it was the same with Trunks and Bulla," the woman said softly, seeing the disappointment on her son's face and the expression mirrored in the android.

Then they heard Pan scream, it was nothing like they had ever experienced. Even in battle, getting her arms broken, her body beaten she had never sounded like that. Instantly 17 went blank, the only thing that stopped him from a dead faint to the floor was Gohan's grasping hand and a hurried shake. The black-haired android shook his head and blinked hard.

"Oh Kami," was the only thing that came from Goku's mouth, he covered his head with his hands, he didn't like it.

"It's going to be fine, it's going to be okay," Gohan said like a mantra, and the next several hours passed with much the same circumstances. Until, that was, something very strange happened.

"Do you feel that?" 17's eyes were dilated, his concentration utterly focused on the room that Pan was in. Instead of just two energy signals, hers and the doctor's there were four.

"Yeah, I do."

"What's going on you guys?" Chi-Chi's voice was spiked with fear; she seemed to think that something terrible had happened.

"There are two new power signals mom. Like you know…twins," Gohan said at last, confirming the idea that had been kicking around 17's brain.

(A/N: Yeah, I'm leaving it here for now. Don't worry I'll post again soon. Reviews are love.)


	4. Life and Love

(A/N: Well this is going to be the last chapter. Don't own. Reviews are love. Ok here we go.)

To Know When to Let go of Desire Pt. 4—Life and Love

Pan lay exhausted, curled around two small children, her eyes fixed on them with utter love and compassion. She loved her and 17's babies, the first moment she had laid eyes on the little boy with his icy blue eyes and black hair she had known the perfect name for him. Juu, like his father. The girl had her same black eyes, and soft raven's feather hair, 17 called her Anna. Pan couldn't have been happier.

Gohan stood in the corner of the room, watching his daughter carefully, she looked so peaceful. Really he couldn't bring himself to be mad as he once had, and even his father had relaxed on seeing the babies in Pan's arms. He was only keeping watch because 17 was out buying baby clothes and food, diapers and a few other things the two hadn't thought they would need just yet. Chi-Chi was back at the house, collecting all sorts of odds and ends that she was sure the little ones were going to need.

Probably the worst thing about the situation was knowing that Videl was gone. He wanted to wish the woman back, to let her see how beautiful their daughter looked as a mother. But Videl had made peace with death, and was enjoying the afterlife, just waiting for her husband. Part of Gohan was sure that one of the Kai's would get the message to Videl for them, or Goku would simply go there and deliver it himself.

"Daddy? Do you think you could hold them for a little while? I think I need to eat," Pan whispered and Gohan just nodded, picking them up as gently as possible, they barely woke up. Pan, one of the strongest women in existence rolled out of bed, a mere four hours (and a senzu bean) after child birth, and walked to the kitchen like nothing had happened. Gohan was proud of her, afraid that she was just trying to look strong but proud of her none the less. His little girl was his pride and joy, now he had grandchildren to dote on; he never understood Goku's love of Pan until he'd laid eyes on Juu and Anna.

"So this makes them like an eighth Sayian. I wonder if we will ever see them go super Sayian," Gohan mused, sitting on the couch with the sleeping children. Pan was on her sixth chicken leg and fourth bowl of rice, she was still a Sayian after all. Both of them were watching TV contentedly, and she paused for a moment, swallowing a chunk of meat before opening her mouth to speak.

"While I don't doubt the possibility, because I've come close a few times…I just hope there's no cause for it," she said at last and Gohan nodded his assent, most of them had reached such a power level because of the extreme pain of loss or heavy threat of conflict from yet another powerful enemy. Hell, 17 was part of the reason that he himself had achieved super Sayian. It was still a little surreal to think that the babies sleeping in his arms belonged to his own daughter and the demon from his childhood nightmares. Pan loved 17 intensely though, and Gohan had finally accepted that.

"I'm back," 17 called as he came through the door. Bag upon bag filling his hands. But that wasn't all of it. Once he set everything down he brought in a whole stack of boxes, containing things that needed to be assembled. Two high chairs, a crib, a changing table, and a couple of those automatic swings, all he had deemed pertinent. Everyone knew that Sayian children were a bit faster at development than human children, so they were going to need these things a lot sooner.

"Hey sweetheart, thanks for going and getting all of this stuff," Pan whispered when 17 leaned down and kissed her on the lips. He didn't care that she was covered in food from her hasty eating, though it made her blush brightly. Gohan laughed and passed his grandchildren to 17, he would assemble the crib for them, and he had at least done it before.

"I love you Pan," 17 breathed as he relaxed, her body slumping against his side, the little ones still asleep, perhaps unaware that they were in their father's arms.

"I love you too 17," Pan replied in a contented whisper, her eyes closing as she breathed in his scent. All was right in their lives, and neither of them had any complaints.

(A/N: Done. It's done. Finally! Anyway, reviews are appreciated.)


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